What is the best way to approach someone about their laziness?
66Solving laziness really requires you to analyze the nature of his or her laziness. I believe that laziness is a symptom of something larger, some underlying cause. I have been accused repeated of being lazy- I am not, I am however often undermotivated. Once I find motivation however, I am virtually unstoppable and wont even stop for food or sleep until I have accomplished my task or ran out of motivation. Finding what motivates that person and using that motivation to help that person accomplish goals is either considered manipulation or crafty leadership, depending on how this is used. Disgression needs to be used when trying to alter another persons behavior, remember you cannot make decisions for other people. Encouragement can be given to help a lazy person, but utimately everyone makes decisions about how to act on thier own.
Other causes of laziness are distraction, lack of direction, depression, and the list goes on. Finding and solving the underlying cause of laziness will cure laziness.
I can only assume that you are referring to someone who irritates you with thier laziness, perhaps a family member or co-worker. If so you may want to simply deal with it in a loving way so as not to hurt that persons feelings or your relationship with them. As a boss addressing a lazy employee I would reccomend a more stern approach. Fear of losing ones job is a good motivator.
Good luck encouraging your lazy friend.
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I like being lazy.
Yea, its hard to be on the same wavelenth as another person. The messy car could mean a lot of things, perhaps being overtaxed in other parts of her life, possibly low self-worth or self esteem, or really anything. Because you are her friend I'd reccomend really trying to find the underlying cause or causes. It could be that she was raised to a different standard than you were, with different comfort levels of cleanliness and work ethics. A good leader (and friend) encourages people to be more than they are and helps them grow. Dont give up!
ADD/ADHD sufferers often exhibit symptoms similar to laziness and untidiness. They have so much frustration in doing tasks that they tend to not do them, it's easier. I'm married to one.
Another group of people often called, "lazy", are children and teens. With children it's often just a matter of not being mature enough to muster up the "mental energy" to do yet one more thing they don't feel like doing. Teens have a similar type of thing, only teens are said to need lots and lots sleep; so for some of them, it is truly a matter of sleeping too little and just being tired. Kids are often overwhelmed at responsibilities that are more than they can add to their existing responsibilities, and their way to deal with being overwhelmed is to proscrastinate (forever, if they have their way).
As other have said, depression and ADD can make someone appear "lazy". So can high levels of long-term stress that make stress hormones elevated and cause exhaustion and inability to concentrate. As with kids, some adults can have so much "junk" in their life they just reach a "saturation point" where they just can't make themselves do yet one more thing they find unpleasant. As with kids, being overwhelmed is another thing that stops people from doing things. Giving up on even trying is something else people do.
I kind of think that, with the exception of using the word, "lazy" in the context of a wonderful, intentional, "lazy day off from work" - the word, "lazy", should be eliminated from the English language.
Insightful perspective. I am glad someone is talking about helping a person rather than punishing them in some way. I too believe it is a symptom of something greater.
I've been doing better at asking for help in doing chores. Some times I get a good, okay I'll do it or....waaaahhh! You can't make me!
Thank you for this, I know that I am not lazy,I love cleanliness and order but an unable to keep my home, and especailly my care clean. I know I suffer from depression and am starting to now have a lot of anxiety, it is very scary the anxiety, but I get in this funk and can not get out of my own way and then I get so overwhelmed, sometimes I have these moments of clarity and direction and I take full advantge and do major thorough "cleans" it feel so good, these moments use to come every couple weeks so I would only have a couple weeks worth of mess to clean, but they are getting fewer and fewer and sometimes months in between, I am scared they wil disappear all together, I feel powerless, like I am drowning, and I can see exactly where I am headed like the people on television hoarding shows,and I promise my self I will never let it get that bad again, but it always does.
it s narrow approch to a so underestimated situation as the so-called laziness,friends!...lazy people are full of spiritual energy!!!!..
mayhmong 3 years ago
Oh thanks spymongoose for the quick response!
I know how hard it must be to actually ask someone to help out with work more. We try to split the work at the end of the day, but this particular person just doesn't want to lift a finger. I finally accepted her the way she is, after taking a short trip in her SUV that was covered with 80% of fast food garbage bags!?